Criminal accusations? No problem when you’re a member of our club.

If you’ve ever wondered what it actually takes to get suspended from the World Health Organization, rest easy. It’s definitely not alleged fraud, forgery, or being the subject of an active arrest warrant. 

Let’s talk about Saima Wazed who is currently presiding over official events as the WHO’s Regional Director for South-East Asia. That’s impressive. Especially considering that back in her home country of Bangladesh, the Anti-Corruption Commission (ACC) has filed not one, but two cases against her for fraud, forgery, and abuse of power, all tied to her campaign for that very WHO role.

And, in a bold demonstration of just how little the WHO seems to care about minor details such as being wanted by authorities, Wazed even issued an official statement on behalf of the WHO South-East Asia region on May 31st, while the warrant for her arrest was still active.

In any normal institution, your workplace, your school, or your local golf club, this sort of thing would warrant, at the very least, a stern email and a suspension. But at the WHO, it’s apparently just another normal day.

When asked about it, the WHO delivered a standard response which was as weak as days old dishwater. “We do not comment on such investigations or any consequential legal processes while they are ongoing”, it said, which is code for “We’ll do nothing and hope you stop asking.”

But should we be surprised? This is the same organization that once appointed Robert Mugabe, the late Zimbabwean dictator, as a Goodwill Ambassador. Because nothing says “health and goodwill” like ordering citizens to be massacred and declaring that homosexuals are “worse than dogs and pigs”.

Then there was Margaret Chan, the WHO Director-General who skipped a critical meeting about the Ebola outbreak to have a cozy tea session in Moscow with Vladimir Putin just months after Russia shot down flight MH17, killing 298 people. Ebola could wait, diplomacy with despots clearly couldn’t.

And if you think the satire ends there, buckle up. In 2023, North Korea was elected to the WHO’s Executive Board. That’s right, the hermit kingdom that considers running water a luxury is now helping shape global health policy.

So really, Saima Wazed’s ongoing involvement with the WHO, despite active fraud investigations and an arrest warrant, doesn’t raise eyebrows. At this point, the WHO is less a public health authority and more of a real-life international political satire, with a rotating cast of questionable characters.

What next? Will the WHO appoint El Chapo as Special Envoy for Pharmaceutical Logistics, perhaps?

Because, if history is anything to go by, the WHO seems far less interested in integrity than in optics. And it’s happy to stand by as its officials are dog-paddling through legal scandals, as long as they show up to press conferences with a lanyard and a smile.

Perhaps it’s time to update the WHO’s mission statement to reflect its real operating principles. “The WHO: Turning a blind eye, plugging both ears, and humming loudly is our strength.”